Health warnings see cheese finally fall into line with cigarettes

The government has announced plans to print graphic imagery on cheese packaging in order to highlight the health risks associated with over consumption, particularly focusing on the increased risk of suffering from nightmares.

As dreams can’t be photographed, the government have decided to use famous paintings such as Goya’s ‘The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters’ and ‘Saturn Devouring His Son’ to raise awareness to consumers that eating the product could result in some pretty freaky ‘mares.

One senior health official confirmed that “these images only apply to real, normal cheese and not squeezy cheese from tubes like Primula as images of the product itself is enough to put most people off buying anyway”.