‘New nation to be created’

Fred Talbot’s weather map that was used on ITV’s This Morning programme is to become a separate UK nation for the sole purpose of being governed by UKIP’s only MP it has been confirmed.

Plans were announced earlier today to free up the only UKIP MP by dissolving the constituency of Clacton and replacing it with the famous floating map in Liverpool’s Albert Dock which would then be given nation status.

“It’s fantastic news” reported one UKIP member. “It’s the perfect place for us, it’s just Britain, all of Britain, no signs of any other countries anywhere nearby”.

One local resident was not overly enthused about the move but did concede that “I suppose it’s better having UKIP here than a fiddler of schoolboys”.