Actor’s training currently ‘going exactly to plan’

CIA officials have confirmed that Harrison Ford is to become the new pilot for President Trump’s private airplane: Air Force One.

When it was pointed out that Ford had crashed his helicopter in 1999, had to make an emergency landing on a golf course in 2015 and this week had only missed a Boeing 737 by a matter of feet as a result of landing on the wrong runway, one official responded “Exactly. He’s the perfect man for the job”.